WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DEAD?

I am going to propose something contentious and perhaps unpleasant to hear. I have heard, here at ADEC, a good deal of  talk with which I agree, to the effect that the way funerals and memorial services go really matters to the bereaved family and friends.  Funerals need to be, and as I have learned here, generally are, if not 'satisfying' experiences - that word does not quite fit here -- meaningful and important. This idea transcends cultures and locations. Wherever we look, we find elaborate trouble taken in caring properly for the corpse. One of the central responsibilities funeral directors, cemetery managers and grief counselors incur is to handle what can only be called problematic deaths, those whose suddenness or manner strains the capacities of normal rituals and symbols. The 9/11 deaths present an especial problem. They are extremely difficult to locate, culturally and morally, and it is my contention that, to the degree that they cannot be properly located, they will continue to haunt the culture, and the formless, free-floating anxiety such unresolved deaths can cause will continue to torment us at the edges of our awareness and concern.